“The roots of resilience...are to be found in the sense of being understood
by and existing in the mind and heart of a loving, attuned, and self-possessed other.”
We search psychological help for diverse reasons. Because we need to know if what we or someone we love, are feeling is normal; or if the pain that is being lived will subside someday; or if the suffering will stop at some point. And this is because sometimes the pain we feel is so deep that we think it will never leave and we loss hope. Frequently, we begin doubting ourselves because we think that what we feel is out of proportion in relation to what is happened and/or we feel that our life and our emotions are out of control. When we have been feeling like this for a while, we lose hope: the fuel that gives us the strength to continue, to search for other options and to expand our range of possibilities. If this happens, everything is abandoned, we stop fighting, and we can fall into the feeling of failure and unhappiness. It is important to seek for professional help, otherwise the journey becomes lonely and things get worse.
Sometimes is not easy to abandon the state in which we find ourselves. We are told: “turn the page, forget or stop feeling the way you are feeling”. These types of comments are unfortunate and frequently are said due to the lack of knowledge, ignorance or lack of empathy on numerous occasions. When we have experienced traumatic and painful experiences, or we have lived with a prolonged stress during an extended period of time, changes occur in different areas of the brain. These experiences can produce changes in our way of acting, in the way we relate in how we see ourselves and how we manage life. We all need someone we can share our story with a witness of our life journey. We need to understand what is happening inside of us. There is a reason we feel the way we feel, a cause that precipitates everything, but also there is a way to heal and to access our own capacity for self-healing. This look at one-self, with the help of therapeutic tools and with the commitment to the process, will allow the present and the future to stop being conditioned by the past and the person can begin to flow. She will have self-control over himself/herself and his/her life. Changes are possible, some will take more time than others, but they are possible.
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