Author Archives Martha Escamilla

Soy responsable de lo que me pasó Incesto padre hij@

May 4, 2015
/ /
in Blog
/

Seré normal algún día pasarán estas pesadillas hasta cuándo me seguirá afectando ese pasado por qué soy tan miedosa en la vida por qué le tengo tanto miedo al futuro y veo todo siempre negro Opinión de Martha Escamilla R. y Lidia Gesteira Fernández.

Publicado: 5 de diciembre de 2010
Para leer artículo completo:  http://www.dinero.com/opinion/opinion-on-line/articulo/soy-responsable-paso-incesto-padre-/-hij/109022

Read More

THERAPY FOR GRIEF

April 30, 2015
/ / /
Comments Closed

The pain of the last kiss…

There is no right or wrong way to grief.  There are no emotions that must be felt or not felt.  There are no number of months or years that should last. The time that each person needs to elaborate  duel is unique and respectable.   However, when you have been pierced by the pain of your loved one’s death, we sometimes avoid talking about the person, we need to numb our emotions. When the emotions do not flow or when we feel overwhelmed by them, they get stock, and we run out of resources to function in the day to day of our life.  And it is that people does not feel what they want to feel, but what they can feel.  This is why, although time passes, we do not feel better.  That is possible, when we need the help of a specialist who can help us find the way to retain  “the memory” while we allow the painful and traumatic events to transform.  And so our emotions will flow again and, with it, life.

Emotions stop flowing because all situations experienced and sustained in time: from the moment of diagnosis, treatment, death itself. The unexpected death, the burial and what comes from his/her absence, can become extremely stressful, confusing, painful. All this leaves scars not only in our heart, but also in our nervous system. Fear and sadness "take hold" in our system making the person feel even more confused, anxious, depressed, irascible, helpless and other symptoms that can cause confusion, bewilderment and make the person disconnect from himself. It can even get to have intrusive images of the different moments lived.

There are also people who may feel guilty for being well. They believe that if they are well, they will forget the loved one, and do not seek help to heal their pain and return to balance. Furthermore, this situation can if you feel pressure from friends and family who, in their eagerness to help, tell them that they need to “move on that they have already spent too much time feeling bad”. There's nothing worse than pretending to be fine when you're not there. This leads to the person feeling more lonely and misunderstood.

I want you to know that I do a specialized therapy to heal the "scars" that the death of the loved one leaves in your heart and brain. It does not matter if you mourn the death of a spouse, of a son/daughter, of a child that was never born, of a father or a mother, of a brother, a friend, or even of a pet, many people benefit from this type of therapy. Although it takes a lot of courage to take the risk of going to therapy and feel the sadness or fear that we have been avoiding, the suffering can be transformed. You can continue living despite the absence, the memory remains and the connection with that departed, is from the tranquility and serenity. As Sigmund Freud says” Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”

I am a trauma psychologist. I have had the fortune to specialize in the latest and psychological tools to work with trauma and grief in a deep, efficient and fast way for 25 years. I have worked in Colombia, New York, Australia, Spain and London, doing intensive accompaniment therapies for the elaboration of the process of mourning and trauma, for me it is an honor to accompany the people in this process.

Let’s talk

 

©Copyright foto: https://www.liahonaacademy.com/emotional-trauma-commonly-faced-by-teen-boys.html

 

Treatments

Read More

TRAUMA

May 1, 2015
/ / /
Comments Closed

I FEEL THAT MY LIFE AND MY EMOTIONS ARE OUT OF CONTROL

"Once you start approaching your body
with curiosity rather than with fear, everything shifts.” 
Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D

When you ask people if they have suffered a trauma, the majority respond: No, I have never endured a trauma; I have only gone through some difficult times.  This is because trauma is often seem as it relates to accidents, physical accidents or the ones that occur in a hospital or in an emergency room, etc.  But the scope is bigger.  A traumatic experience is an unexpected situation we live through or when our life or the life of someone else is in danger.  It is a stressful experience that exceeds the natural barriers of what we can comprehend, disrupting the ability to respond and producing feelings of helplessness, fear and loss of control.

A traumatic experience can be a particular event like: a natural disaster, living through an assault, a car accident, falling from a bicycle, having surgery, the sudden death of a loved one or living through a continuous stressful situation.  Also, having experienced an economic setback, a separation, a partner infidelity, or having endured an illness, being jobless or living in an unsafe area.

All of the above have a long- term effect on our body, mind and emotions. Impotence, depression, sadness, anxiety, panic, anger, isolation and desolation, etc. are some of the many emotions that take over our nervous system. It is important to know that trauma lives in our nervous system, not in the traumatic event.

The symptoms after a trauma can vary; feelings of constant body ache, chronic fatigue, pain in the chest or back, muscular tension, fibromyalgia, migraine, nausea, ulcer, hyper-vigilance, intrusion of images of trauma, nightmares, exaggerated startle responses, panic attacks, hypersensitivity to sound, smell and touch etc.  It can also show signs:  sudden mood changes, reduced capacity to deal with stress, isolation, frequent crying, lack of hope, loss of interest for family, work and other things that caused wellbeing.  There can be confusion, difficulty to concentrate, phobia, fears with no apparent reason: like the fear of public speaking, fear of flying, drive a car, fear to the authority, feel that one cannot be happy etc.

After enduring a trauma, it may take some time to feel secure again.  The most important is to find a Psychologist that specializes in trauma who can provide the right treatment.  It does not matter if the trauma occurred years ago or if it occurred yesterday.  Don’t allow anyone to tell you that what happened was not important, that many people have gone through it, and that it happened so long ago that one must forget...etc.  Remember something fundamental, if it is important to you, it was important. That, in itself, it is sufficient.  In therapy the patient does not have to relive the trauma.

Let’s talk

Treatments

Read More

STRESS AND DEMENCIA

May 2, 2015
/ / /
Comments Closed

“We, the ones then, are no longer the same”
Pablo Neruda

 

Who has not been afraid of developing any type of dementia especially knowing that today it is possible to live until 80-100 years? . Sometimes dementias can be more scary than cancer or death. A degenerative disease can affect us at a cognitive, functional and physical level. It robs us of what we are and makes us vulnerable, fragile and dependent. We lose the ability to connect with ourselves, with others, we are left without a map of the world and of life and we can not stand for ourselves. We all know someone who has dementia; a neighbor, the father of a friend, an uncle, our loved one. The person who sees how slowly he loses his faculties feels immense terror and many times they hide him from his family to protect them from all that this entails. When the doctor confirms the suspicion, the patient and the family begin a long way for which no one is prepared. The physical, emotional, logistical and economic implications that are experienced are real and stressful. Therefore, a very important help is psychological help, to have the necessary resources to face the new situation. We should not doubt that there are many things to assimilate, many duels that will be made, many things to learn, manage and process.

Dementias are long and degenerative deceases, that generates a lot of stress, burden, impotence, rage, fear, guilt, and even resentment.  There are some caregivers that feel they can do it without any help, that they are strong, but it is not a matter of being strong, it is a matter of being realistic.  Physiologically we are designed so that if we are facing a situation that we feel exceeds our capacity for tolerance because we are afraid or pain or overflow, automatically the alarms are triggered, and we want to flee: leaving the room, avoiding visits, we are become irritable or we freeze without knowing what to do. And it is that when we feel so helpless before someone who suffers, if we cannot do anything to alleviate their suffering, we want to flee as far as possible. We want to let them know that we are there, that we love them, but we do not want to be present when they are suffering because it is painful.

The caregivers and the most important part in the of the dementia disease process:  if the caregiver is not doing well, the patient is not going to be well because he/she will not receive the care and attention and the type of company needs.   You must take care of the caregiver because when the caregiver feels overwhelmed this is the main cause of the institutionalization process or in more extreme cases, the mistreatment of the sick person. It is not easy to be with someone we no longer know and who cannot communicate. As this is a disease that is evolving until death, we are constantly doing duels, sometimes we think that everything is controlled and, all of a sudden, a new change comes; a hospitalization, a fall, and all this is stressful and painful. This is the reason why it is important to listen to our emotions and ask ourselves what we need as caregivers, to focus in the present, the needs they present and their limitations. And remember that behind that “lost look”, “that body” that does not respond, there person that you remember still there. This person is doing the best they can, given the circumstances. In fact, many people in their moments of lucidity cry to see themselves like this. The greatest gift you can give is your presence ... and sometimes is it is the hardest to give.

If you wish to have one or two sessions, to help yourself in this process. Let’s talk.

 

 

©Copyright foto: https://www.comunicar-salud.com.ar/2018/02/21/oms-demencia-prioridad-salud-publica/

 

Treatments

Read More

FEAR OF PUBLIC SPEAKING

May 2, 2015
/ / /
Comments Closed

miedo-hablar-publicoGR

“You did not have an illness, you had a childhood”
Dr. Sebern F. Fisher

The fear of public speaking is a limitation and they make some people have “a double life”.  On the one had they are diligent and hard- working; on the other hand, they feel unsecure and they fear that others realize their weakness, which increases their panic.  They will do anything to hide their reality because they believe that their reputation could be compromised.  A simple conversation among friends, speak at a conference for 200 people. or appear before your boss, it can become torture. They anticipate the worst, they feel they have no control over their bodies, the voice breaks, they sweat, they experience tremor in their hands, etc. The tools they have learned in the curses for public speaking in this moment are not worth anything, they just want to run away, finish early to avoid humiliation and let them discover the truth.

The fear of public speaking can be so overwhelming that many people are willing to give up a management job or a good opportunity for that reason. They end up feeling afraid of their own fear and will do anything: delegate, get sick, go to the bathroom, forget their “glasses” etc. to avoid having to deal with the situation.

The psychological treatment is meant for any executive, professional and people who want to talk with property and serenity before a person or a thousand people. It is focused on increasing their security and self-esteem, to enjoy what they do, to accept the challenges that the work and life presents them. Thus, the person will become familiar with their potentials and become their own agent of change, instead of being ashamed of what happens to them. In therapy, we seek to go to the origin of fear. We will find the resources that the person has and do not know. We will give tools and educate to achieve rewarding experiences in front of the public. Initially there are seven sessions of (90) minutes in which significant past experiences will be processed, learning (which is what makes them feel this way), and for this we will use different psychological techniques. (After these an evaluation of the treatment is made, and a plan is established according to what has been achieved).

If you have any questions, I will be happy to respond.

Let’s talk

 

©Copyright imagen: http://infosabio.com/como-evitar-el-miedo-escenico/

Treatments

Read More

SEXUAL ABUSE

May 2, 2015
/ / /
Comments Closed

"Traumatized people feel chronically insecure within their bodies:
the past is alive in the form of inner discomfort that gnaws.
Their bodies are constantly bombarded by warning signals
and in an attempt to control these processes,
they often become experts in ignoring their instincts
and in numbing the awareness of what is developing within them.
They learn to hide from themselves."
Bessel A. van der Kolk

 

 

©Copyright foto: https://news.culturacolectiva.com/noticias/nina-filmo-violacion-para-que-le-creyeran/

 

Treatments

Read More

PREPARE FOR SURGERY

May 3, 2015
/ / /
Comments Closed

“Unexpressed emotions will never die.
They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”
Sigmund Freud

I hope that people know that it is possible to have a “better surgical procedure” and a better post operation, if they prepare emotionally, physically and mentally.  It is clinically proven that clinical hypnosis (not the hypnosis shown in the theaters and the TV), is an excellent tool to help the person, not only enter the surgery room, with less stress and more resources to handle the situation, but it is also useful to prepare in the process of preparation for surgery.  If the person is calmer relaxed he will have more resources to better communicate with the doctor, resolved the doubts that are arising, prepare everything needed for the surgery and to face the problems that may occur.  Surgery will be better, the management of the anxiety, doubt, fear and the pain management will be much better, and this is vital for the recovery.

When a person who is undergoing surgery has a lot of stress, this can result in the increase in the production of cortisol, this is the main stress hormone and has a negative effect in the body and the frontal cortex of the brain. Stress may cause more tension in the musculoskeletal system, which will generate a strong tension that will translate into pain and difficulties to move normally, and the body's inflammatory response will increase, the heart rate will accelerate considerably, showing a significant decrease in their immune response that in turn increases the predisposition to suffer from infections. The digestive system also will show signs of being affected.

Surgery is a stressful event because is surrounded by worry, uncertainty and lack of control.  The concern about the result of the tests, the risks of anesthesia, the post- surgery, the level of pain, when and how will they return to work, who will take care of them, how they will change their lives and even think about the possibility of death itself causes anxiety.  And even if they give you “a pill to remain calm” it will not take away your fear it only numbs you.  It is not advisable to go to a surgery with all the fears, with all the questions, with the feeling of impotence and lack of control, because it will produce more stress in your body and then symptoms of anxiety, irritability, body pain may follow.

When a person prepares for surgery it may require less anesthesia, the recovery period will be shorter, the secondary effects will diminish, less nausea y vomit and the stay in the hospital will be shorten and therefore the return to the daily activities will be faster. Because of all this, if you are undergoing surgery, begin to prepare one month ahead, this would be ideal.  It is important to help your mind and body to feel more relaxed before surgery.

Would you like to have 4 sessions before surgery?  Let’s talk

 

REVERSE PAIN

Having pain is stressful, debilitating and exhausting. When we have been living with permanent pain for a while, our mood, relationships, performance and perception of the world are affected. This pain that does not go away can be due to: unresolved traumas that remain in the body and cause corporal restriction, anxiety, and other symptoms that accentuate the pain. There are also pains produced by an injury, a surgery that went wrong, a bad surgical or post-operative experience, an accident, a disease, and so on. To reverse this pain, our "nervous system will feel safe and relax again" it is necessary to do some therapy. Process the emotions that we live in the accident, when we feel vulnerable, etc.
Sadly some patients report that more than the trauma of the surgery, they remember uncaring treatment and disregard that they were treated by their doctors, nurses, when they gave the diagnosis, they requested an explanation about their condition or they complained of not feeling improvement and the doctor told them that "they did not see anything bad in the exams, that it was in their head and they had to learn to live with the pain".

All of the above may lead some patients to disconnect from their body as a way to manage pain. The problem is that when they disconnect, they have also disconnected from the resources that can help them solve the condition they have. It is very important to work pain, make a team, mind - body. There are techniques like; Hypnosis, Brainspotting, EFT, Bars, EMDR, somatic experience and focusing that rebalance the energy system. When the system is rebalanced, symptoms can be relieved.

Many people find relief in the treatment I offer, if you want to reverse your pain, you can work from the comfort of your home by videoconference or in person. Initially we do 5 sessions, to listen to the pain and learn tools that can help you.

Let’s talk

 

©Copyright foto: http://www.thehealthsite.com/photo-gallery/diseases-conditions-strange-medical-phobias-you-should-know-about-k0717/

 

Treatments

Read More
© Copyright Martha Escamilla . All right reserved
Design: Andrea Bustillo