Author Archives Martha Escamilla

Soy responsable de lo que me pasó Incesto padre hij@

May 4, 2015
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Seré normal algún día pasarán estas pesadillas hasta cuándo me seguirá afectando ese pasado por qué soy tan miedosa en la vida por qué le tengo tanto miedo al futuro y veo todo siempre negro Opinión de Martha Escamilla R. y Lidia Gesteira Fernández.

Publicado: 5 de diciembre de 2010
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April 30, 2015
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People come to me to engage in grief therapy because,

"despite the passage of time, the pain of having lost a loved one has not healed", and therefore they are seeking help.

The death of a loved one be they a partner, a child, a baby that was never born, father, mother, a brother, sister or a friend, can be such a stressful situation that it exceeds the bounds of what we can assimilate and endure,

thus DISRUPTING OUR ABILITY TO RESPOND, which gives rise to feelings of helplessness, emptiness, vulnerability, helplessness, fear, sadness, guilt, etc.  

Whether the cause of death was an accident, a suicide, a sudden death, or a long illness, these experiences leave marks on us regardless of the time that elapses. A bereaved person may begin to avoid talking about the topic, begin to "anesthetize" their emotions, and may feel overwhelmed and this causes them to run out of resources to function well on a day-to-day basis.

The death of the love one, can be so painful, so traumatic, so stressull that let us stock in the past with out  the RESOURCES we need to overcome the pain. WE MUST listen to our fear and our sadness. So just letting time pass without being able to process the event can accentuate the unresolved problem.  Also Grief can be cumulative with emotions building and layering with each successive loss.


There are people who think that they have completed the grieving process and are surprised to find that they still feel a lot of sadness.

The Trauma and Grief Therapy I offer can make a difference in your grieving process, as it is designed to reprogram the way your brain responds to loss, helping you process sadness and fear and giving peace to memories that previously only caused pain.

Additionally, your perspective changes so that you experience a reduction in sadness and an increased sense of calm, which can enable you to feel closer to your loved one.  Obviously you will continue miss your love one, but you can be more at peace.

IT IS VERY REWARDING for the patient to experience beneficial changes during the therapeutic grieving process.  

The Grief therapy I provide commences with a free consultation via Skype that lasts 20-30 minutes to see if this type of therapy is suitable for you.

If it is agreed that it is, two 90-minute sessions are scheduled on two consecutive days and, if necessary, a third appointment on the third day is made. 

Book a session  Thank you for letting me be part of the solution




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May 1, 2015
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"Once you start approaching your body
with curiosity rather than with fear, everything shifts".

Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D

In many communities, having a mental disorder, having been a victim of sexual abuse, or "coming out" as LGBT can be circumstances that cause a person to be quickly expelled from that community.

The threat of this expulsion not only makes the person hide a situation out of shame, but the family and society want to hide it too. 

We are all social beings and for our survival, for our psychological well-being and emotional development we need to feel that we belong, that we are accepted and loved by our community and/or family.

Therefore, when there is danger of being rejected, tortured, murdered, beleaguered, condemned, branded as a sinner, marginalized, cursed, etc., for the sole reason, of a gender preference or sexual orientation it is natural and intelligent to want to protect oneself.

It is also a natural and wise reaction when faced with psychological, emotional or physical danger to want to hide, to avoid feeling shame, pain or any other consequence derived from that exclusion.

Consequently, those who experience the prejudice of homophobia live in a constant state of stress and uncertainty.

Feeling that they have no control over situations, feeling insecure, not heard, not seen or supported, not only by their family, but by the system, by society, can lead the person to feel depressed, to experience anxiety and shame and to have a traumatic response.

There are LGTB people who, for LACK OF SUPPORT, have committed suicide.  

Some of my patients are parents who, when they find out they have child who is part of the LGBT collective, ask me “what they could have done wrong to cause this behavior in their child” and they express shame about not being able to fix the situation or what they feel.

But as Bert Hellinger says "homosexuals and trans people, are homosexual or trans not because they want to be, but because it is their destiny and they have the right to follow their destiny like everyone else. They are members of their family, and as such, they must be recognized and valued. Otherwise, love is hurt.  

In my consultation I observe that when parents, couples, siblings, children begin to come out of the closet and share with others the process, if they find support, empathy and acceptance, it is easier for them to BEGING TO NORMALIZE not only their emotions, but the situation, and thus can give more support to their family.

On the contrary, when that support does not arrive, the situation becomes more complicated, giving rise to different scenarios that can range from drug abuse, family breakdown, etc.

I work with both: the relatives to help them to understand and accept their family member and with people in the LGBT community to support them in their process, understand their fears and conflicts, and help them develop resources to help them live authentic lives.

In this process they understand that there is nothing morally wrong or ethically suspicious about them or their behavior.

I invite you to visit my articles section, where you will find more information related to this topic.

Book a session Thank you for letting me be part of the solution.



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May 2, 2015
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"We, the ones then, are not the same." Pablo Neruda


Who has not felt fear of developing any type of dementia?

Dementias can be scarier than cancer or death itself, because it robs us of what we are and makes us vulnerable, fragile and dependent.

Because it is a life condition, a long illness where we lose the ability to connect with ourselves and with others. We are left without a map of the world and of life and we cannot stand for ourselves. This creates an enormous terror and pain, both for the sufferer and the family.

Some patients who have RECENTLY been DIAGNOseD with dementia come to see me because they know that high levels of stress hormones can accelerate the loss of their memory. They also want to help themselves and make a plan.

For them it is important to talk about their emotions, worries, without worrying their family. This does them good.

Caregivers, on the other hand, live an ambiguous loss, because their loved one is physically present, but is no longer mentally or emotionally present. It is not what they used to be. This condition changes the dynamics of the relationship.

Dementias are living conditions that affect your environment, your life, and your community. They are long and degenerative diseases, which generate a lot of stress, overwhelm, impotence, anger, love, fear, guilt, and even resentment.

There are caregivers who think they can do it without help, they are strong, but it is not about being strong, it is about being realistic.

We feel so helpless when someone who we love suffers, if we cannot do anything to alleviate their suffering. We feel overwhelmed. We are stressed and this affects our health and the relationship with the rest of the family, our concentration and work. In addition, the constant feeling of uncertainty, causes emotional tiredness and numbness.

TakING CAre of the CarREgIvERs


We do an initial work of 2 sessions, which can be repeated during the course of the disease since new challenges will emerge.

The goal is the caragiver, so he can

develop skills and learn tools to respond to symptoms, instead of reacting to the individual or emotions.

These are easier when you understand better what the disease consists of, you have therapeutic tools to calm your nervous system and NOT GET OVERWHELMEND.

Book a session Thank you for letting me be part of the solution.

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May 2, 2015
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"We become traumatized when our ability to respond to a perceived threat is in some way overwhelmed. This inability to adequately respond can impact us in obvious ways, as well as ways that are subtle.” Peter Levine



On the one hand, they are diligent and hardworking; and on the other, they feel insecure and fear that others will realize their weakness, which increases their panic.

They will do anything to hide their reality, believing that their reputation could be compromised. A simple conversation between friends, speaking at a conference for 200 people, or introducing yourself to your boss can become torture.

A person with a fear of public speaking anticipates the worst, they may feel that they have no control over their bodies, their voice breaks, they sweat, they experience tremor in their hands, etc. The tools that they may have learned in public speaking courses don’t provide sufficient help. At that moment they just want to run away and avoid the humiliation of others discovering their truth.  

The fear of speaking in public can be so overwhelming that many people are willing to give up a good job opportunity to avoid having to speak in public. They end up feeling afraid of their own fear and will do anything E.g.

delegate, get sick, go to the bathroom, ‘forget’ their glasses, etc. so they will not have to face the situation. 

I offer psychological treatment to any executive, professional and to those who want to speak in public effectively and calmly whether before a single person or a thousand people. Sometimes, this fear of public speaking fills our lives with stress and pressure to the extent that our brain develops an "internal 24-hour alarm" which makes it alert even when it is not necessary and this constant state of alarm is exhausting.

This therapy program helps you to become aware of your inner experiences and to connect with your internal resources. So “the alarm” can be turned off and you increase your sense of security and self-esteem  

This multi modal psychological program consists of an initial seven (7) sessions of ninety (90) minutes in which your situation is evaluated, mutual goals are set. Also  the person will understand the reason for their fears, will learn resources and will process those past experiences and significant learnings that make them have stage fright.

At the end of the initial sessions a further evaluation will be conducted to assess the changes that have been achieved and whether further sessions are required.

Book a sessionThank you for letting me be part of the solution.

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May 2, 2015
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“If we look at this man’s behaviors without knowing anything about his past, we might think he was mad. However, with a little history, we can see that his actions were a brilliant attempt to resolve a deep emotional scar. His re-enactment took him to the very edge, again and again, until he was finally able to free himself from the overwhelming nightmare of war". Peter Levine


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May 3, 2015
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“The first truth, Buddha taught his disciples, is that suffering is part of the human condition. If we simply try to avoid confronting painful experiences, there is no way to begin the healing process. In fact, this denial creates the very conditions that promote and prolong unnecessary suffering.”
― Peter A. Levine,


The interconnection between unresolved emotions and disease is undeniable. Many people has experience that when they feel depressed, stressed, angry, afraid, their bodies begin to break down.

Undoubtedly some diagnostic tests (biopsy, resonance, endoscopy, etc), a surgery, a fertilization process, are situations that are surrounded by worry, uncertainty and lack of control.

Pre-operative stress occurs for different reasons such as:

waiting for test results; concern about the risks of anesthesia; fear of post-operation pain; worry about when and how you will return to work; the stress of planning who will care for you; worry about how the procedure may change your life as well as the possibility of not surviving the operation. This stress can create great anxiety and even if you take medication to calm you down it does not take away all the fear, just numbs it.

 It is NOT GOOD  for you, to go into some diagnostic tests (biopsy, resonance, endoscopy, etc), a surgery, a fertilization process, with all these fears, all these questions and with the feeling of impotence, vulnerability and lack of control because this will produce more stress in your body which can then result post-operation in symptoms of anxiety, irritability and chronic body pain, etc.

It is important to listen to our bodies is trying to communicate to us instead of pushing away our emotions.  

IT IS CLINICALLY PROVEN THAT HYPNOSIS IS AN EXCELLENT TOOL TO HELP PEOPLE, not only to enter the operating room more calmly, with less stress and more resources to handle the situation, but is also useful in the process of preparation for surgery.  If you are more relaxed, you will have more resources to communicate better with your doctor, deal with any doubts that are present, to plan and prepare for the surgery and post-operative needs and to solve any problems that may arise.



Stress can cause excess tension in the musculoskeletal system, which generates pain and difficulties in moving normally. Additionally, the inflammatory response of the body increases, the heart rate accelerates, the digestive system is impacted and a significant decrease in the immune response occurs, which in turn increases the predisposition to suffer infections.  


 Ideally, if you are going to undergo surgery, START TO PREPARE A MONTH BEFORE.

It is important to help your mind and body to be more relaxed before surgery.

When a person is prepared for surgery and therefore is less stressed they require less anesthesia, recover faster, have fewer side effects, etc., so the hospital stay will be shorter and they will return to the activities of daily living sooner.  

Book a session 


“If we do not pay attention to our feelings and the messages from our body then our body will assume we do not enjoy life and get us out of here as quickly as possible.” Dr Bernie Siegel

Having chronic pain is stressful, debilitating and exhausting.

When we have been living with pain for a while, our mood, relationships, performance and perception of the world are affected.

That pain that does not go away may be due to unresolved traumas that remain in the body and cause corporal restriction, anxiety, and other symptoms that accentuate the pain.

There are also pains produced by an injury, a surgery that went wrong, a bad surgical or post-operative experience, an accident, a disease, etc.

Sadly, some patients tell me that they remember the disregard with which they were treated by the medical team more than the trauma of the surgery. They felt uncared for when their medical professionals gave them the diagnosis and they felt ignored, disrespected and disempowered when they requested an explanation about their condition or when they complained of not noticing improvement. 

Many people find relief in the treatment I offer because once the body’s system is rEbaLAnceD, SYMPTOMS CAN be REliEveD.

I offer my program in person or you can engage in sessions from the comfort of your home by videoconference.

Book a sessionThank you for letting me be part of the solution.  

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