I FEEL THAT MY LIFE AND MY EMOTIONS ARE OUT OF CONTROL
"Once you start approaching your body
with curiosity rather than with fear, everything shifts.”
Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D
When you ask people if they have suffered a trauma, the majority respond: No, I have never endured a trauma; I have only gone through some difficult times. This is because trauma is often seem as it relates to accidents, physical accidents or the ones that occur in a hospital or in an emergency room, etc. But the scope is bigger. A traumatic experience is an unexpected situation we live through or when our life or the life of someone else is in danger. It is a stressful experience that exceeds the natural barriers of what we can comprehend, disrupting the ability to respond and producing feelings of helplessness, fear and loss of control.
A traumatic experience can be a particular event like: a natural disaster, living through an assault, a car accident, falling from a bicycle, having surgery, the sudden death of a loved one or living through a continuous stressful situation. Also, having experienced an economic setback, a separation, a partner infidelity, or having endured an illness, being jobless or living in an unsafe area.
All of the above have a long- term effect on our body, mind and emotions. Impotence, depression, sadness, anxiety, panic, anger, isolation and desolation, etc. are some of the many emotions that take over our nervous system. It is important to know that trauma lives in our nervous system, not in the traumatic event.
The symptoms after a trauma can vary; feelings of constant body ache, chronic fatigue, pain in the chest or back, muscular tension, fibromyalgia, migraine, nausea, ulcer, hyper-vigilance, intrusion of images of trauma, nightmares, exaggerated startle responses, panic attacks, hypersensitivity to sound, smell and touch etc. It can also show signs: sudden mood changes, reduced capacity to deal with stress, isolation, frequent crying, lack of hope, loss of interest for family, work and other things that caused wellbeing. There can be confusion, difficulty to concentrate, phobia, fears with no apparent reason: like the fear of public speaking, fear of flying, drive a car, fear to the authority, feel that one cannot be happy etc.
After enduring a trauma, it may take some time to feel secure again. The most important is to find a Psychologist that specializes in trauma who can provide the right treatment. It does not matter if the trauma occurred years ago or if it occurred yesterday. Don’t allow anyone to tell you that what happened was not important, that many people have gone through it, and that it happened so long ago that one must forget...etc. Remember something fundamental, if it is important to you, it was important. That, in itself, it is sufficient. In therapy the patient does not have to relive the trauma.